white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I want to be your penis for a week.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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