A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
