Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
