guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
