Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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