You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
