nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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