You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
