just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
