Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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