We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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