Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
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