Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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