Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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