They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
