I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
