You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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