woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
