Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize