Even water is tasting like jack daniels
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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