Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
