I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My dick has a subreddit
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
PANTIES FOUND
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