this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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