I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Mom said you looked used
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am naked and annoyed.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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