I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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