A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
