she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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