Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
