just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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