the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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