Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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