dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
