I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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