question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
