Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
