It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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