you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
