great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
