i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
