No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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