Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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