come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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