why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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