i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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