i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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