i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
