Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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