Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
