Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
