Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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