I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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