im drinking this country out of the recession.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I love you. Go after that dick
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
