Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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