Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
