the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
