Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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