Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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