Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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