I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
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If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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