There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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