Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
