I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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