If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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