I'm really into asian looking animals
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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